That Exit Sign

Came back from outreach feeling like an empty cardboard box with bricks piled on top. Ever feel like that?  I was running and dancing to the tunes of alarm bells and  red flashing lights. What happened?

I gave and didn't replenish. I withdrew and didn't deposit. So I came back home, broke spiritually. I blamed God for the bricks that piled and to make matter worse we lacked even more financially. My husband's contract was changed and he wasn't getting much work so finally he resigned.So no source of income, a fragile state of emotion and the blame game. It was tiring. I mean all the stress, the fighting, all the turmoil, all covered by a brave front.

I was looking for the exit sign. Where is it? When is it going to end? Who will rescue us? (I mean God surely hasn't because if He wanted to, He would have done it by now!) Right? When will the door open? My gosh! can somebody make something happen already?

In the end, I caved. God was not moved or impressed with my attitude and that was tough to accept!

It was wonderful to go home and see our friends and family and feel like a visitor for 7 weeks.  It was shocking to see the so many changes that's happened in the last 7 years we've been away from Fiji. All the nieces and nephews are all grown up and somehow the only mental picture we had of them were when they were little as we left them. They were all tall handsome young men and women now days.

We came back to the reality of life after outreach. Bills needed to be paid, food on the table and the list goes on and on.Faced with this, my default option was the exit sign....I wasn't looking  at what God might be trying to say in this but where is the exit sign. Just breathe, one step at a time and keep moving, right?

Wrong!!!! The exit sign isn't the answer. The answer is in the waiting, it's in the seeking and asking, the knocking. Faith is not looking for the exit sign but waiting to hear what God is saying in this. Faith is not taking flight or expecting a chariot of fire for deliverance in trial. Faith is waiting, hearing and it is pleasing to God.

In the frustration of nothingness, God spoke, " Nesi. remember the children of Israel, I gave them water from a rock, I fed them manna and quail from heaven, I parted the red sea for them. I can do that for you. Stop looking for the exit sign and look to Me. You will only wander in this desert if you continue to look for the exit sign. We went to church that Sunday and our Pastor spoke the exact same thing. I was like," Okay you got my attention!!!"

Honestly I didn't know to take that as an encouragement or rebuke. 

Today, we're still waiting for a job for Api for other prayer requests but we're not discouraged anymore. I'll be honest and say that the temptation to look for the exit sign is always present but I have learnt that it's not going to make the process any faster. This process is bringing us closer together as a family. Even little Emmanuel is learning that if he wants something or go shopping, he has to pray. I am learning about love again, about contentment, about humility to accept help or ask for it, to receive love and generously give back.

The exit sign should be re-worded and I think it should say, " If you want to come back this way, look for the exit sign. if you want to move on, wait and listen"



To donate your support please follow this link: mrmdts.org/online-payments/

Count It all Joy

“Count it all joy” James 1:2. Yeah right!

The New Year has come and gone, yet the only thing I seem to remember about it were the series of battles that we welcomed in it.

We made the choice to not waste time complaining, murmuring, and groaning as if God had forgotten our family. We were going to count it all joy and declare in the midst of the battle, how wonderful our God is. We were  going to thank Him, declare his goodness, faithfulness, wonderful provision, generosity, greatness and that He will never leave His children begging for bread…Praise in the face of despair broke the discouragement and sadness but faith was evoked, joy, peace even laughter….

We moved into a Modcom that is on the ministry centre grounds. It was an adjustment downsizing from a 3-bedroom to a 1-bedroom home. We had no electricity for one whole month and on the day, it was turned on, our car died. A few tears shed and praise the Lord again but that meant that Api could not get to work and Emmanuel to Day Care. That was tough to look at and still praise God.

However, in the middle of that discouraging situation God had signposts of hope and relief. In the 2 and half weeks we were without a car, money kept appearing mysteriously in my back pack or emails from a dear friend sending us money. Food and clothes came from other friends. Praise the Lord and a few tears shed again in thanksgiving. Then $3500 came in and we were able to buy the car we now have…Moral of the story? Count it all joy!

We are leading the medical stream for the MRM DTS and it has been exciting. We are going on outreach for 7 weeks as a family with the medical stream team. There are seven students from all over the world and our team is going to PNG and Fiji.  We are all excited and are now in the process of planning and networking with people about this trip.  We are hoping to be involved in medical outreaches, building & community projects.

 We currently doing a course in Triage & Emergency and have also completed a CPR course, all this to apply on outreach where needed. We also are praying for other ministry opportunities to work alongside churches and YWAM bases etc.  Our team has two nurses, one pharmacist and all the rest are first aid trained.

 So all this combined we pray that we are God’s hands extended. This can only happen through God’s help through your prayers and financial support. Thank you again for taking the time to read this and prayerfully considering supporting us. 

Adoption

Bula Friends & family,


In the last 5years of missions this is the first time we're sending our newsletters, so here is a brief rundown of what’s going to happen in the rapidly approaching New Year...

I will be on staff in the next Marine Reach Ministries DTS in January. I will specifically be in the Pacific Challenge stream. Check out the website for more information regarding the schools and the ministry www.mrmdts.org In the DTS we will be providing support and encouragement as staff to the students that will join us; we will also lead mission outreaches to where God calls us to go in the Pacific. So we are counting the cost, in terms of our family specifically our son, our time, relationships, finances, schooling, housing, etc...so we start with the basics:
a) A house or accommodation, hence the search & fervent prayer for a house on Warner Rd, ...this comes with some specifics but we're open to other things God might have up His Mighty sleeve.
b) Emmanuel gets 20 free hours of daycare a week, but we're praying for 10 extra that will be paid for. This will allow Emmanuel to go for 6hours a day for 5days a week, which will allow us to invest more into the DTS with more learning and growth.
c) Apart from the DTS which is full time, we will have to make a commitment to add family alone time , Api & Nesi alone time... purposeful planning is the key. The challenge is to purposely commit!
d) Finances are a challenge that we all have these days, but by adopting us as your missionaries and supporting us financially and in prayer, you enable us to continue in missions and go even more for God in building His Kingdom.

So as a faith venture we're looking to be adopted by churches, friends and family as your missionaries. We are looking to partner with you to support us in prayer and financially in missions for the next 3 years. We are open to receiving these financial pledges weekly, monthly, annually or which ever way God is leading you to support us. Your financial support can be from $20 a month...


Prayers for us can be shared in small groups, fellowships, prayer meetings and individual prayer commitments....We need a lot of prayer support, for we know that along with this faith venture, comes the enemies schemes to steal, kill and destroy.


The Pacific Challenge DTS has two phases; a lecture phase of 12weeks and the outreach phase of 8 weeks. The PCDTS team will be praying for these Nations and the specific locations to serve on outreach. We will post updates of the school and outreaches...

Our Monthly Budget (All the figures below are on a “per month” basis)

Rent— $800
Fuel— $300
Food— $600
Outreach- $200
Savings- $200 (Savings are for unexpected expenses or projects that we hope to save for     e.g.residency.)
Daycare- $100
____________
Total $2200.00

Please refer to the postage and banking details below to give in:
New Zealand :
1.Personal Bank Account
Westpac Bank acc.
03 0445 0702650 000

2. through Marine Reach Ministries
Marine Reach National Bank acc,
Tauranga Branch
0605831 0353683 01
Reference: Akenisi & Api Drugu
Please contact us when you have donated so you can be added to our database for your receipts for tax purposes at the end of the financial year.

3. Or Post to:
Marine Reach Ministries
PO Box 1028
Tauranga 3140
New Zealand


USA: 
Marine Reach Ministries
3127 Marina Drive, Alameda, CA. 94501
Phone 510-521-2000
Capt. Ed Payne— capt.edpayne@att.net
Reference to your support is:

• Akenisi & Apimeleki Drugu
• Mission Support -Marine Reach Ministries
• New Zealand

We wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a fabulous New Year...

Blessings,
Api, Nesi & Emmanuel Drugu

CHALLENGES

Since having Emmanuel as a mellow baby, his new sense of personality and assertiveness has been quite challenging. My husband and I have had to re-group more often now days than before and that can be tiring.Tantrums are one thing but dealing with different styles of handling the tantrum is another. In learning about the changes and the developments of your baby, you never know what to expect. It is tempting to assume the textbook solution but it isn't always a text book problem. The guidelines are but great to start with. We don't always agree but we're trying to find solutions though a united front.

The one thing we dreaded was Emmanuel finding avenues to getting away with things, and so I reckon for the moment we're practicing to keep the united front. Sometimes Emmanuel's reaction to the untied front is so funny that composure goes out the window. He tries to explain himself in words that we literally don't understand and his cute facial expressions just makes our hearts melt....The challenge is to keep that consistency in dealing with the tantrum. The challenge is to teach him that tantrums are an unacceptable way to express his annoyance , frustrations or disappointments.

Amongst the challenges, come the joys of parenthood. The joy in his little man achievements, the joy and scare of Emmanuel being able to get himself out of the fortifies deck of our house, his problem solving skills. The joy of watching hubby and Emmanuel have a conversation without the other understanding a word but that it can go on for more than ten minutes.

I love this life, I love Emmanuel.

So Many Changes

There have been so many things that have happend since my last blog ages ago. I spent a year at home learning the challenges and joys of motherhood and it is' still on going. And so this year, my husband and I after much prayer and thought decide that I go back to work at least three days a week and Emmanuel would go into day care. The only problem was is that we couldn't afford to put him into day care, so we prayed for financila support only to put our son into day care so that i could go back to work. Now given that we're missionaries, praying is always that first thing you do....God answered our prayers by provided my cousin's wife to look after our son for free three days a week and hense i am enjoying the serenity of having peaceful mornings. Taking my time getting ready for work and just doing things at a peaceful rate....

We've enjoyed Emmanuel as a mellow baby and now we're having to adjust to him being an assertive todler, quite determined little chap, bless him. He literally walks around our home with his plastic blue chair looking for things or places to reach. And does he have a high pitched scream if he is denied of his blue chair. So the adjustment for Api and I is to take it as it comes, and try to provide solutions to what we see as a problem but you see Emmanuel sees it as an adventure. It also tests us as a couple in terms of boundaries and what we diiferently see as potential danger for Emmanuel or just fun and games...so we're always having to "discuss" the issue at hand.

We're moving and learning and boy it can be hard if you're not getting the expected results and it can also be fulling when it does come around, well for me it's when I am right about something....ha..ha..

BABY GALORE

Since my last post, I've had the baby and I must admit that I never expected to love motherhood this much. I am absolutely loving it. It has it's days of pure chaos when I cant seem to figure out whats happening.

But I am loving it and feel like my heart would burst with love for my baby when I watch him eat, sleep or coo at me. His cries can be deafening but when it comes to the hugs and kisses, its a landslide. My baby's name is Emmanuel Drugu. Just that! He is beautiful and now at three months old, he is developing his own personality.
He feeds well and sleeps well too....These days Emmanuel is trying to turn on his back and holds his head up very well. He responds with coos, smiles, laughs and that cute curious look...He loves his baths and now tries to grab and put everything in his little mouth. I think he has just discovered that his voice can have different pitches so these last few days have been filled with Emmanuel squelling to high pitches and volumes....what next?? I wonder.

WEIRD DREAM

Yesterday I was looking at the pictures of two of the triplets born two or three weeks ago on an island in Fiji. Mother gave birth to one on the way to the health centre and had the other two at the health centre but she lost one of the three....I was getting all gooey at the picture of the two babies and wondering even more what my baby would look like...mmmm I was reading in my pregnancy book that at this stage of my pregnancy I will have a fascination for my baby and day dream about him and also have weird dreams...Weird yes indeed!!! I don't know what connected the baby pictures and story with chickens but my dream was out of this world. I dreamt that I was giving birth but doing so like a chicken laying eggs....laughable really! I was laying three eggs and i lost one because it fell on the floor and cracked and I was soooo sad.... I didn't even wake up afterward, I just was sad that the last egg fell on the floor and the baby died. There was an actual baby in the egg. I mean, what happened there?? Needless to say, I have had really weird dreams this week...but his one I remembered. You'd ask the question, what is the world coming to but I ask what in the heck is my brain conjuring up?

Have an ice kinda day!
Nesi

A NEW EXPERIENCE

Throughout the Christmas break last year, I was sick just really sick. Given my view on having children, it didn't cross my mind that I might be pregnant. I was so sick that getting out of bed seemed almost impossible. My poor husband and I were just baffled as why I was so sick. A week before I started work this year we finally decide, that maybe we should just try to have a pregnancy test to rule out the possibility of being pregnant just in case there was something more serious...now I realize that there is nothing more serious than being pregnant!

We got home did the test and it was a definite positive plus on that thing...I didn't know what to think at that point...my husband was with me in the bathroom just as anxious. He screamed, " Hooray! we're pregnant and I, I just cried. No tears of joy, or sadness or anything, just cried...it was mixed emotions for me. At that point I couldn't wrap my head around that fact that I, me was pregnant, inside me was a person already growing!!! Yikes! We went to see our GP (Doctor) who then informed us that I was already 8 weeks pregnant, no wonder I was sick as a dog over Christmas.

Overall I had a tough first trimester...my only craving was chicken....everyday I ate chicken thanks to my wonderful husband! He cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, vacuumed and everything other chore. I felt so bad feeling so sick. Sometimes I cried for just being sick because he came back from work and then worked on our house chores...in all his cooking really improved. He ate chicken everyday with me despite the obvious that he was not really into chicken as I was, so I decided that I was going to try something else one day and opted for fish. Hubby took me to the park for a lovely picnic dinner...we ate, walked a bit and come to home only to have me spew out all my fish dinner, so we changed back to chicken...and it was chicken for the first four months...he was so relieved when we tried beef and it stayed down...after 4months of chicken....who wouldn't.

Not matter how many books I read about pregnancy nothing prepared me for what I was going through. It is an amazing journey. In the beginning I felt robbed of my life, my body, my time and health, because it was so unexpected. But when I embraced it, I felt healed, restored and there was even a sense of trust that I could nurture a person within me, I felt whole. Thankfully I have the support and love of an adoring husband and he was my pillar through that transition. He held my hand when I felt miserable, rubbed my back when everything I ate came back out, he was there through it all...I guess God knew that I needed just that.

Now I am really enjoying my pregnancy and it has sunk in, that I am truly pregnant! Motherhood still baffles me but I know that in time, I will get the hang of it...hopefully! Like I said nothing prepares you for the experience of pregnancy. At this point, I am seven months pregnant, constantly hungry, frequently tired, uncomfortable because of my belly being in the way and that restricts my movements but...I am happy!

We haven't figured out a name but we have moved to an actual house and I took a week off work to set up house and the baby room, we're buying clothes and stuff for our "Baby D" . D being for darling! We're having a boy. We haven't got a name yet but we're getting there, hopefully we have one by the time we get to the hospital for his birth...must be the Fiji time coming out...we're not late, everybody else is just early...so we're taking our time.

The experience is something most woman endure by themselves despite the support all around. No one but a woman whose been through it will understand the mood swings, the cravings, the enlarging busts and waist, the throw ups, the discomfort, the fatigue, the anxiety, the joy of watching your stomach move because the baby is moving within, the laughter, when you know that baby is having hiccups inside and you wonder what that looks like, the thrill of seeing your baby at your first scan and the worries of how good of mother you will be to this little angel ready to be born. That's where I am at right now. Yet I feel so blessed to have dear friends, who share this experience with me, Jo who is also pregnant, 7 weeks ahead and Suzie, who has had 2 babies. I get to talk to them about my newest experiences and they just understand, get excited also and share their story...

I took my friend Babes with me to my third scan and instantly I recognized the baby when the lady was moving about up and down my belly. Babes couldn't figure out what was what until the end, when she finally got it and said, " That's a baby".....it was her first scan experience....

That's me....more to come when more changes happen!

Answers To Prayer

As we are settling in, we are really enjoying our space and the freedom to do what we want when we want.

Here is Api and his new beer mug that we bought from the Opt shop. We betted on how many cans it would take to fill that one out, it takes 2.5 of the 330ml. So here he is all ready to watch his rugby match and enjoy his beer and chips. Not just any chips but corn chip.

I on the other hand had to be the photographer.

We have been praying for furniture in our wee little flat and today I reckon all the prayers offered, the tears, the questions and the thanksgiving all worth it, when God answers them. We had written out a list of things tht we wanted for our flat. Sinces it is a small one, we can only ask for things that fit. So in one uninterupted brunch, this lovely couple, friends of ours, wanted to give a Cane suite away, that was in their garage. We got it and here it is. Just fits perfectly into our living room.

In our wee kitchen is alot of stuff that are answers to prayer and it is maybe the heart of our home....maybe. Because it is small I would rather have it always spick and span. Ap iis getng really good at washing dishes. It is just perfect for now....

During our honeymoon, we were in prayer for a car, and on our way back, we spent another night or two at the mount. On a simple drive about, we found this one. and bought it in a week. It has been great to have a car. Now we are dreaming of road trips and getting places in our carrrrrr......An answer to prayer. Api and I shed alot of tears in prayer aksing and begging God to bless us with a car. He did!!!

I'll say it is worth it to pray and believe for the things we need..we have a Father who hears prayers. As we hope and pray for other furniturethat we need for our flat, we are believing that God will get it for us. And it is not always free stuff , I think that sometimes we see God as the freebees company.. and He is not that! He blesses sometimes with free stuff, better buys and discounts, or money to get the stuff we need. Our part is prayer and submission to His will snd way.

MATCHING, MATCH

We are learning each day, what our differences are and how we can live with it,deal with it, changes it, learn from it and move on with it. However, there is no guarantee that it will be a successful learning experience.When I talk about matching, I am talking about how you compliment each other.

Before I got married, I knew God had my match in life somewhere, not over the rainbow unfortunately. Lo and behold he was right there in front of me. As we got to know each other more and more, there were alot of things I felt that matched up with Api.

Then along came the marriage bit and I was so blown away by the discovery of how much my husband is so perfect for me..... I was under the impression that this matching ,matching bit was only for the happy things and happy times. SHOCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't realize that this matching bit is for all areas and times. Even in the unhappy moments and disagreements, you find that there is a match in how you respond, how you express disappointment, how you solve this problem and how you use the solution found to get moving. One will always compliments the other. Like the example below.

When I am upset, I want to say everything in one breathe to the point of tears, no thinking about my choice of words, or the impact it will have on my listening husband. When Api gets upset, he thinks about what to say and says it calmly, choosing his words carefully. Api is the listener and I am the talker. I ike tidy now, he likes relax, do it later. Keeping a tidy house is always good, but I dont have to kill myself cleaning it all the time. I need to just chill sometimes. Talking to express yourself is great but there are times when you need to be the listening one....get my drift?

I am so thankful to God that my husband is who he is. We compliment each other in triumphs and trials. When all the drama dies down, whether happy or unhappy, I'm always amazed at how solutions are achieved because we compliment each other. Moving on is another step up from that because we learn to help each other get through and move on.

So if you're looking for your other half, wait for God, He has your match. Get ready to see how you will compliment each other. If you are already married, stop to listen, stop to see how your husband or wife compliments you.

LITTLE BIG THNGS

In our last entry, we talked about settling in and how that went well. More and more we are realizing that it's the little things that can push those buttons and make it into the big things. When you grow in love and settle down, people well most people will tell you that it will be hard. My husband told me that it is hard when we make it hard. I concluded that there are things that are either worth changing or not worth it at all. Things worth putting an effort and energy into are annoying habits, time management, food, etc. things not worth changing are things like ones past, family, etc.

In the little things, like watching which TV programme, or clothes preferences, or what to do on date nights, those are things that can bug you the most. So, marriage is not necessarily hard work but it's alot of work. You give and take...both of you. You talk about it like civil adults and help each other up the mountain.

Even though I don't always enjoy the sports channel, my husband loves it (not more then me though) and while he obsesses over a knock on or forward pass, I can read or go to bed early or set a time schedule for the TV if we have to so that it is a win/win situation. So when Friday comes, I watch American Idol before he watches Super 14 rugby. There is a solution when you look for it and on the other end, there is trouble brewing for a fight when you look for it....

Remember to deal with the little things....

SETTLING IN

We have settled in. In our last post, we mentioned the waiting and anxiety. Not long after that we got a flat and my husband got a new job. We moved out on Saturday night for the new couple to move in the next day, Sunday. Api and I started our new jobs on Monday.

Talk about timing ! GO GOD!!!!! He fitted the jigsaw. Now we are all settled in and moving along. It's great to have you own space to be able to do the things you want to do when you want to do it. Below is one of my experiences.

I have been occupied with work and work and work...and being unwell last week brought me to a standstill.I was watching "American Idol" and I it was the week where the theme was 60's. Out of all the songs that I saw and enjoyed, the only one i remebered was the one line of Shirley Bassey's song, that Jordan sparks sang," I Love you" I remembered it to the point of iiritation...just one of those songs that stick....aaaaaaahhhhhhhh.

Come Sunday evening and I was as sick as a dog....I got the chills and then hot flushes and then sweat trauma...As I lay on my bed sick to the bone, I felt I was goingto die...just die. For the first time in my Christian walk, I felt sad dying. reality folks, I wasn't rejoicing like Paul, absent from the body and present with Christ. I was just sad because I knew that death would mean leaving the love of my life, behind,,,api. cried and prayed,"Lord, if I die, who will take care of Api, I just got married...ha..ha..ha..laugh it off...but it's true...

Api was my pillar of strength and among other things when i lay sick..he.cooked, cleaned, washed, everything. I felt like a sick queen. I felt the closesness and love of God through the gentle arms of my husband,my gnetle giant.

Api left me for a moment to do something and as I lay there sick out of my witts, I felt the presence of God so real with me there on my bed, I had a picture of Him holding me, pushing my hair away form my face and singing, that one line of Shirley bassey's song" I LOve You" It made sense.

I thought about that expirience as I got better and realized something, God is an exceptional Father, a wonderful Father. He is perfect and He can sing to you when you feel down and out or dying like I did.

I pray that as you go through this week, He will sing to you and comfort you...

Blessings, Apiness

CLOUDS

This is our blog blabber...
We 're waiting now for what direction to follow next... It is the waiting game and we're learning that sometimes the trip up hill was worth it because the view at the top is just breathetaking. Or like when you're on edge in your cliff of faith, and jumping is all you can think of, waiting just might do you good..because you're there to also enjoy the view

We are realizing that God is not all boring, He takes His children on adventure upon adventure...in-betwen is the wait...We've just come through the adventure of wedding/honeymoon/married life blah..blah..blah...now we're seeking and waiting on the next big thing. I sometimes wish that it would just go back to back. Waitng for direction is a struggle..I am like the kid who says "Are we there yet? over and over.

Blessings.