We are learning each day, what our differences are and how we can live with it,deal with it, changes it, learn from it and move on with it. However, there is no guarantee that it will be a successful learning experience.When I talk about matching, I am talking about how you compliment each other.
Before I got married, I knew God had my match in life somewhere, not over the rainbow unfortunately. Lo and behold he was right there in front of me. As we got to know each other more and more, there were alot of things I felt that matched up with Api.
Then along came the marriage bit and I was so blown away by the discovery of how much my husband is so perfect for me..... I was under the impression that this matching ,matching bit was only for the happy things and happy times. SHOCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't realize that this matching bit is for all areas and times. Even in the unhappy moments and disagreements, you find that there is a match in how you respond, how you express disappointment, how you solve this problem and how you use the solution found to get moving. One will always compliments the other. Like the example below.
When I am upset, I want to say everything in one breathe to the point of tears, no thinking about my choice of words, or the impact it will have on my listening husband. When Api gets upset, he thinks about what to say and says it calmly, choosing his words carefully. Api is the listener and I am the talker. I ike tidy now, he likes relax, do it later. Keeping a tidy house is always good, but I dont have to kill myself cleaning it all the time. I need to just chill sometimes. Talking to express yourself is great but there are times when you need to be the listening one....get my drift?
I am so thankful to God that my husband is who he is. We compliment each other in triumphs and trials. When all the drama dies down, whether happy or unhappy, I'm always amazed at how solutions are achieved because we compliment each other. Moving on is another step up from that because we learn to help each other get through and move on.
So if you're looking for your other half, wait for God, He has your match. Get ready to see how you will compliment each other. If you are already married, stop to listen, stop to see how your husband or wife compliments you.
LITTLE BIG THNGS
In our last entry, we talked about settling in and how that went well. More and more we are realizing that it's the little things that can push those buttons and make it into the big things. When you grow in love and settle down, people well most people will tell you that it will be hard. My husband told me that it is hard when we make it hard. I concluded that there are things that are either worth changing or not worth it at all. Things worth putting an effort and energy into are annoying habits, time management, food, etc. things not worth changing are things like ones past, family, etc.
In the little things, like watching which TV programme, or clothes preferences, or what to do on date nights, those are things that can bug you the most. So, marriage is not necessarily hard work but it's alot of work. You give and take...both of you. You talk about it like civil adults and help each other up the mountain.
Even though I don't always enjoy the sports channel, my husband loves it (not more then me though) and while he obsesses over a knock on or forward pass, I can read or go to bed early or set a time schedule for the TV if we have to so that it is a win/win situation. So when Friday comes, I watch American Idol before he watches Super 14 rugby. There is a solution when you look for it and on the other end, there is trouble brewing for a fight when you look for it....
Remember to deal with the little things....
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